Breaking stereotype!

 While I was talking to my husband about the leaves I needed for my brother-in-law's child, a thought suddenly struck me. We were discussing the ritual where a woman visits her maternal home (maika) for her first delivery. I found this ritual a bit strange and overly dramatized. I was curious to know the facts behind this tradition, so I searched for information. However, I did not find any concrete evidence explaining why this has been practiced for years. After all my research, what I found were stories of women sharing their experiences. I read accounts where women talked about how their families pressured them to have their first baby at their maika, despite challenges like distant hospitals, lack of medical support, concerns about who would bear the newborn's expenses, and more.

We are all aware that during pregnancy, a woman undergoes significant changes, both physically and mentally. Morning sickness, changes in appetite, stress, mood swings, and more become part of her daily life. Considering these bodily changes, our first instinct is to ensure the utmost comfort for the woman. The immediate thought that comes to mind is sending her to her maternal home, or "bahu ka maika," rather than her in-laws' place. But why can't it be the other way around? If we examine the timeline, in ancient times, people used to get married at a very young age and conceive early. All of this happened during the early stages of marriage when the girl was not comfortable and felt too shy to demand or ask for anything essential during pregnancy.

To overcome this hesitation and ensure the well-being of the baby, people chose to send their daughters-in-law to their maternal homes (maika). Now, this practice has become a tradition in our Indian culture. Despite advancements in society, changes in marriage patterns, and planned pregnancies, this tradition continues unquestioned. People are educated now, yet they do not question blindly followed traditions. Indeed, in Indian culture, traditions have deep-rooted meanings and logical causes. Over time, these traditions have been molded to suit contemporary needs, and the original meanings are often forgotten.

There is no inherent problem in sending a woman to her maternal home for delivery, unless it is mandatory. However, I wonder why a woman, who is taught to feel comfortable in her in-laws' place and is told that it is her home, does not feel comfortable giving birth to her first child there. I believe this is the perfect time for husbands and in-laws to connect with the new member of the family – the daughter-in-law. If the in-laws permit the child's birth in their home, it could create a stronger bond between the daughter-in-law and the family. This is the time when the husband can experience motherhood up close. Sending a girl to her maternal home might be a solution to many difficulties, but supporting her during her challenging times, understanding her mood swings, witnessing her glow, and embracing the arrival of a new life into the world can be an incredible experience, sometimes lacking in the in-laws' approach.

Perhaps this is just an opinion, but I strongly feel that the family is the first place where a person should feel the most comfortable. There should be no room for hesitation, and after marriage, if the in-laws' house is considered her home, then during her difficult times, the definition of home should not change.

                                  

Breaking stereotype!